The Role of Kindness and Power in the Classroom

A colleague once told me a story that epitomizes the effects of misuse of power in the classroom. My colleague was asked to proctor an exam for a professor. That professor had a reputation for being rude, condescending, and controlling; some referred to her as a “bully” and, on multiple occasions, she left students in tears. When my colleague entered the room and tried to gain the students’ attention to begin proctoring the exam, the students would not pay attention to my colleague. They kept talking amongst themselves, refused to put away their books, and basically ignored my colleague. Finally, drawing upon her assertive personality, my colleague was able to garner their attention and administer the exam, but not without much difficulty. When recounting this experience, my colleague talked about how it was terribly evident that their professor had shown them no respect and so, in return, they offered no respect. Surely, that explanation was too narrow. So, I began to ponder the reasons why I had not experienced something similar. 

My first thought was that I have had the most amazing students, and by their nature, they simply would not do something so disrespectful. The problem with this explanation is that the other professor had many of the same students. That could not be the explanation. Next, I wondered if the colleague who recounted this story was either unknown to the students or had inadvertently developed a reputation among the students, which led to this reaction. That proved not to be the reason either, as my colleague had proctored a number of exams and had never had this experience in any other class. I continued pondering; there had to be another explanation for this conduct. Surely the professor’s disposition was not the major reason for their behavior. After much reflection, though, I finally conceded in acknowledging that treating others with a lack of respect will likely result in a reciprocal action. Perhaps this lesson seems reasonable to those reading this article, but I was early in my teaching career at that time. I suppose I did not want to believe that any professor could be so unkind to her students to result in such a disrespectful response from them. The rose-colored glasses began to fade as I started to see a realistic picture of academia. 

I am far from perfect as a professor, but I really try to be a mentor, support, and teacher to my students. I try, albeit in my flawed way, to be the professor they need me to be. My students are my priority, and their development is my utmost responsibility as a counselor educator. Despite the countless tasks and the demanding roles I may fill, my students come first. It is exhausting because being kind, compassionate, and respectful takes a lot of time and energy. But giving anything less to my students would feel like failure to me. Clearly, there are times when I am not my best self because I do not feel well or I am stressed out, but I muster as much energy as possible to give them my best, even on the difficult days. Like I said, I am not perfect, but they can see that I try. They know that their education is important to me and that I will do all I can to support them. 

Beyond my commitment to their professional development, I purposefully try to demonstrate to my students that I respect them. There are a number of ways in which I attempt to do this, but a few examples include the following: (a) making the classroom a democracy in which they have the power to make some choices; (b) gauging their reactions and engagement and adjusting to meet their needs; (c) making valuable use of our time together in the classroom; (d) helping them to learn knowledge and skills they can actually use; (e) creating assignments that have real-world applicability; (f) seeking feedback and listening when they offer suggestions; (g) admitting when I have made a mistake; (h) inviting them to share their expertise; (i) answering their questions, even when they may not fully apply to the lesson plan; and (j) honoring their courage and recognizing their triumphs. There are certain things that I must take full ownership of, such as grading, but I try to empower students and support them in developing their professional voice. Many of my students enter the program with such rich experience and wisdom that it would be a disservice to all of us to fail to encourage the sharing of that wisdom. 

If this all sounds exhausting, that is because it is exhausting. It would be immensely easier to be the professor who offers no feedback on assignments, makes all decisions about the class, diminishes student feedback, refuses to answer student questions, and generally operates as an authoritarian in the classroom. But what do students really learn from those professors? At best, they understand those professors are being poor role models, and they learn as much as they can in a classroom that is uninviting and under-stimulating. At worst, they learn to act like their professor, which I argue would be entirely detrimental to the students’ personal and professional development. Or, for many students, perhaps their reaction is somewhere in the middle—they check-out of their learning and get very little from the graduate experience, enter into the field with low enthusiasm, and/or leave the field prematurely. 

From my perspective, being an effective counselor educator is not about being liked by students—it is about making a difference. And I truly believe I am more likely to make a difference when my students feel connected to me and respected by me. We know that approximately 27% of counseling outcome is based on the quality of the therapeutic alliance (Wampold, 2015). We must then ask ourselves why the educational relationship would be different. It seems evident to me that operating from a perspective of kindness and respect, seeking to minimize the power differential present in the educational process, is a natural pathway to developing future counselors who treat their colleagues and clients/students with compassion. 

Our work can have an exponential effect. We have the honor and privilege of being part of our students’ development, and we can be proud of their impact on the communities they serve. When we approach our work as counselor educators with intentionality, thoughtfulness, and kindness, we can find fulfillment in knowing that we have some part, no matter how large or small, in making this world a better place. Mahatma Gandhi said that we should “be the change [we] wish to see in the world.” As counselor educators, we have a tremendous responsibility to model for students the type of counselors we want them to be. Our actions speak far louder than our words. 

References 

Wampold, B. E. (2015). How important are the common factors in psychotherapy? An update. 

World Psychiatry: Official Journal of the World Psychiatric Association (WPA), 14(3), 270–277. https://doi.org/10.1002/wps.20238